in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
