whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
