Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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