Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
