I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
