Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
