That's intense
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
