So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
