Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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