sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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