she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
