I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize