Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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