doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
