fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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