i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
