You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize