I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
