I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
