I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will die if light touches me.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
