I must be too annoying 4 u.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
