EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize