I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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