fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
