Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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