I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize