he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
