im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
