He is such a slut. More and more my type.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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