You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
