No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
