Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
