woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
