I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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