They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
