why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
