and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
