You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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