i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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