We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
