Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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