im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
