Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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