no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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