Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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