Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
