brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
