You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
