i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
