and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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