She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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