I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
