Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
