remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
