Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
