I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
