i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
