hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
