My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
