There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
