how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's like iHOP with fire
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
