she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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