saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
